BLAST HEMMORHOIDS INTO ORBIT WITH THE RECTAL ROCKET

Hemorrhoids: nobody wants them, but nearly everyone knows them. They’re one of the most common colorectal complaints, and they come in three flavors—internal, external, and mixed (yes, the unfortunate combo platter). Depending on the severity, treatments can range from “mildly annoying cream” to “super-science-level intervention.”

Enter the state-of-the-art compounding lab at Norland Avenue Pharmacy and its superstar: the Rectal Rocket. This isn’t your grandma’s run-of-the-mill suppository. Designed primarily for mixed hemorrhoids—and also helpful for anal fissures—the Rectal Rocket delivers lidocaine and hydrocortisone right where it hurts, healing injured tissue like a tiny super-hero on a mission.

What makes it special? Unlike traditional suppositories that slip and slide into the colon (and leave you wondering if they did anything at all), the Rectal Rocket has a flared end and a generous size that keeps the medication right on target for four to six hours—enough to tame most hemorrhoids in just two doses.

It treats both internal and external hemorrhoids simultaneously, eliminating the awk-ward juggling act of creams here and suppositories there. Bonus: because it stays in place, it can use a lower dose of medication while still packing a punch.

The Rectal Rocket is prescription-only, so if you’re ready to launch your hemorrhoids into oblivion, swing by the pharmacy and grab a handout to show your doctor. Your posterior will thank you.

Don’t forget, you can have your compounded medication made at Norland and delivered to Carl’s Drug Store for pick-up.